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The Chick Norris
Member Since: October 02, 2010
Membership status: Member
Bio:
Membership status: Member
Bio:
Find me on Twitter. I'm @THEChickNorris Here's my Avi:
My fabulous fic wife is the amazing, the wonderful, the talented GemmaLisax. She's the macaroni to my cheese and I love her hard!
I have an irrational love for both Maria and Vladimir. I love seeing the two of them together even though it makes most folks go:
I'm a sucker for a really good story, and currently am the only person in the fandom with the authority to grant the highest honor available...
The Chick Norris stamp of approval. So if you see this in a review, you know you're reading an awesome ass story.
Now I'm gonna have to give you a smack on the ass so you'll stop staring at my avi and get to reading my stories! Bend over...
Average Review Rating Given: 
Stories by The Chick Norris
Summary:
Categories: Twilight Characters: Bella, Edward
Genres : Angst, Romance
Pairings: Edward/Bella
Slash Pairings : None
Team: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 4 Completed: No Word count: 13321
Published: May 19, 2012 Updated: May 18, 2013 New!
Phoenix is the catalyst that Bella and Edward both need for the changes that will make everything work.
Categories: Twilight Characters: Bella, Edward
Genres : Angst, Romance
Pairings: Edward/Bella
Slash Pairings : None
Team: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 4 Completed: No Word count: 13321
Published: May 19, 2012 Updated: May 18, 2013 New!
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Summary:
Categories: AU Characters: Caius, Chelsea, Heidi, Jasper
Genres : Horror, Suspense
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: BDSM, Character Death, Gore, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 5 Completed: No Word count: 6132
Published: May 10, 2013 Updated: May 10, 2013 New!
Everytime someone asks me to tell them my story, the nightmares begin...
Categories: AU Characters: Caius, Chelsea, Heidi, Jasper
Genres : Horror, Suspense
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: BDSM, Character Death, Gore, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 5 Completed: No Word count: 6132
Published: May 10, 2013 Updated: May 10, 2013 New!
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Summary:
Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Jasper, Maria
Genres : Drama
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: Gore, Violence
Challenges: None Series: Maria: A series of one shots that tell the whole story
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2092
Published: December 22, 2011 Updated: December 22, 2011
How Maria met Jasper.
Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Jasper, Maria
Genres : Drama
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: Gore, Violence
Challenges: None Series: Maria: A series of one shots that tell the whole story
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2092
Published: December 22, 2011 Updated: December 22, 2011
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Summary:
Categories: AU Characters: Billy, Charlie
Genres : Parody/Crack Fic
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 3851
Published: June 17, 2011 Updated: June 17, 2011
It's been a while for Billy Black, can Ruth Call help him feel...The Call of the Wild
Thanks to my wifey GemmaLisax for the awesome story banner.
Categories: AU Characters: Billy, Charlie
Genres : Parody/Crack Fic
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 3851
Published: June 17, 2011 Updated: June 17, 2011
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Summary:
Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Maria, Vladimir
Genres : Drama , Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Period/Era Piece, Tragedy
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: None
Warnings: Gore, Rape, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None Series: Maria: A series of one shots that tell the whole story
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2133
Published: May 12, 2011 Updated: May 12, 2011
That was the legacy that my mother left to me-the knowledge that there was no escape short of death.
Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Maria, Vladimir
Genres : Drama , Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Period/Era Piece, Tragedy
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: None
Warnings: Gore, Rape, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None Series: Maria: A series of one shots that tell the whole story
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2133
Published: May 12, 2011 Updated: May 12, 2011
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Summary:
Categories: New Moon Characters: Bella
Genres : Romance
Pairings: Jasper/Bella
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: Gore, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: 176
Published: October 02, 2010 Updated: April 19, 2011
When the Cullen's abandon Bella, she's not the only one lost and confused, Jasper is too. Will they be able to help each other, or will someone from the past destroy them both?
Categories: New Moon Characters: Bella
Genres : Romance
Pairings: Jasper/Bella
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: Gore, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: 176
Published: October 02, 2010 Updated: April 19, 2011
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Summary:
Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Maria, Vladimir
Genres : Romance
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: None
Warnings: Gore
Challenges: None Series: Maria: A series of one shots that tell the whole story
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1027
Published: February 25, 2011 Updated: February 25, 2011
This is the beginning of Maria.
Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Maria, Vladimir
Genres : Romance
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: None
Warnings: Gore
Challenges: None Series: Maria: A series of one shots that tell the whole story
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1027
Published: February 25, 2011 Updated: February 25, 2011
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Summary:
Categories: Twilight Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Genres : Parody/Crack Fic, Romance
Pairings: Edward/Bella
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 269
Published: December 02, 2010 Updated: December 02, 2010
This is a much simpler version of the popular book.
Categories: Twilight Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Genres : Parody/Crack Fic, Romance
Pairings: Edward/Bella
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 269
Published: December 02, 2010 Updated: December 02, 2010
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Summary:
Categories: Pre-Twilight, One Shots Characters: Charlotte
Genres : Angst, Drabbles, Family
Pairings: Peter/Charlotte
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Nomad , Team Vamp
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 963
Published: November 15, 2010 Updated: November 15, 2010
A brief take on the events leading up to Peter and Charlotte's escape from Maria's Army.
Categories: Pre-Twilight, One Shots Characters: Charlotte
Genres : Angst, Drabbles, Family
Pairings: Peter/Charlotte
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Nomad , Team Vamp
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 963
Published: November 15, 2010 Updated: November 15, 2010
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Summary:
Categories: AU Characters: Maria, Vladimir
Genres : Romance
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: Maria: A series of one shots that tell the whole story
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1031
Published: November 09, 2010 Updated: November 09, 2010
After many years apart searching for and gaining power, Vladimir and Maria are finally together again.
Categories: AU Characters: Maria, Vladimir
Genres : Romance
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: Maria: A series of one shots that tell the whole story
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1031
Published: November 09, 2010 Updated: November 09, 2010
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Summary:
Categories: One Shots Characters: Jasper
Genres : Drabbles
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 789
Published: October 22, 2010 Updated: October 22, 2010
A very short little sample of Jasper's thoughts on family.
Categories: One Shots Characters: Jasper
Genres : Drabbles
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 789
Published: October 22, 2010 Updated: October 22, 2010
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Summary:
Categories: One Shots Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Genres : Family , Humor, Parody/Crack Fic
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Human
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 950
Published: October 21, 2010 Updated: October 21, 2010
My challenge from GemmaLisax (my fabulous fic wife) was to write a story including all of the following:
Edward as a ballarina, Emmett is a lion tamer and Jasper is a Rodeo Clown Alice is a construction worker and Bella is the bearded lady! Esme is a madame and Carlisle is the President of the US. Rose is...a...er...strong woman.
Categories: One Shots Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Genres : Family , Humor, Parody/Crack Fic
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Human
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 950
Published: October 21, 2010 Updated: October 21, 2010
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Summary:
Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Jasper, Maria, Peter
Genres : Romance
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 599
Published: October 05, 2010 Updated: October 05, 2010
A short little lemon written for week 5 of the Lemon Drizzles over at the Jasper's Naughty Girls blog.
Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Jasper, Maria, Peter
Genres : Romance
Pairings: None
Slash Pairings : None
Team: Team Vamp
Warnings: None
Challenges: None Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 599
Published: October 05, 2010 Updated: October 05, 2010
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